The Magic of Coaching

Last year, I’ve embarked my coaching journey. I had a privilege to undergo an intensive training, practice sessions and assessment certifications. Today, I now have 76 hours/100 hours to complete so I can take my next coaching certification.

I’m learning a lot in this journey such as:

1. Listen very well. Coaching taught me how to really listen. I don’t know about you, but whenever I talk to someone, I usually think of my next thoughts, questions, and words to say. Coaching taught me to clear my mind and (100%) focus only to my client — his words, body language, tone of voice, reactions, values, and the like. By doing this, it helps me to notice the patterns and ask more relevant questions. In parallel, the client would feel I’m really listening and would trust me more and share more.
2. Suspend judgment. Have you experienced talking to someone and at the back of your mind you’re already formulating hypothesis? Coaching helps me to suspend judgment and avoid assumptions. In coaching, you have the power to clarify and, if necessary, dig deeper (with client’s permission) to really understand the situation. The more you understood, the better questions you can ask and your client can further unearth the root cause of the problem and realize his potential solutions.
3. Contracting is key. This is similar with goal-setting concept that should be done at the beginning of a coaching session. You have to be crystal clear on what the client wants to achieve at the end of the session and have an agreement on this.
4. You don’t need to be an expert, in the field, to be a coach. Somebody told me that in coaching, the client is the master of his own world. This means that the client knows the answer. As a coach, you would need to facilitate the process of helping them discover the answers which are just within them. This is what the ‘unleashing the genius of people’ is all about. I’m honored to have opportunity to coach people who are from Actuary, Finance, Agency/Sales, Operations, HR background. They are even more senior and experienced than myself; and, I learned that as long as you facilitate well the process and give them the space to reflect, you can do it effectively.
5. Client – 80% Talking and Coach – 20% Asking. Did I just say space? In coaching, it’s not about being know-it-all and giving advices. It’s all about asking your client on their ‘own’ definition and thinking of their ‘own’ solutions. This is a usual trap that may hinder us in letting them reflect on their own. The space is all about giving them enough time to think (yes, be comfortable with silence) and a platform to talk. The coach is responsible in facilitating this thinking and talking process by asking the right question at the right time.
6. Trust the process. If you’ve read my previous post, you would know that I’m an impatient and control freak type of person. Whenever I have a presentation, I would write a flow, script, and all the necessary details as my guide. In coaching, it’s opposite. Yes, we have GROW Model as a coaching structure; however, you cannot religiously follow a script on what question you have to ask. Rather, you have to follow your client’s thoughts so you can ask the best questions.  All you have to do is to trust the coaching process and patiently have this journey with your client. 

I’m thankful for how coaching is developing not just my clients but also myself. I remember before, I’ve only thought that coaching is only about asking questions; but, as I immerse myself more into this kind of conversations, I realized how a seemingly simple process can bring a magical outcome that can help and add value to the client.